One Poop Sample Please~

One Poop Sample Please~

July 20, 2018 5 Comments


                              Dr. appointments and poop samples


My youngest, Fallon, has had weird stomach issues for three months now. I finally made the call and brought her in, which ended up as the common, “Nothing seems wrong to me, but I’ll refer you to a GI specialist an hour away.” Perfect! As a mom of 3 little ones, that’s just what I wanted to do! (First mistake I didn’t see my Dr. I just got in with whoever was free)

A month later, I drop the Big off at kindergarten, the Middle at my sisters and the Little and I are off to the GI specialist, after she’s been awake all night puking. When going to a specialist you never know who you are going to get.

          Are they good?

                   If they are the only ones with an opening are they bad?

         Do specialist get patients like I got my tables when being a waitress?     “You got the last patient that called in Dr. Awesome, whoever calls next                                                        goes to Dr. Odd.”

The Dr. I got was a mid 60s man, who was quite a bit shorter than my towering 5”4 frame, and nodded his head and said, “Mmmmhmm I see,” to absolutely everything I said.

“She screams bloody murder when trying to poop, since September.”
“Mmmmhmm I see.”
Awkward silence
“I’ve cut out dairy and gluten since November, which has helped some but she still struggles. If she was allergic wouldn’t there be a bigger change?”
“Mmmmhmm I see.”
Awkward silence


You get the picture, half hour of me retelling what I just had to write on her paperwork and just told the nurse. Are they trying to catch us in a lie when we're at the doctor? Why do I have to say the same thing three different times?


“AaaaHa, Got you! On the paperwork you wrote it stated in August and now you just said it was September! GOT YOU!" 

The appointment ended with the instructions to go get an x-ray of her stomach and her blood drawn AT MY OWN CLINIC!

“We don’t do those here,” was what Dr. Odd, I mean Dr. Awesome said.  

Let me get this right, I drove an hour, with my puking baby, so you could tell me “Yes seems like something is wrong, I’ll refer you back to your clinic, which you were at a month ago.”

For reals? LOVE our current system of constant referrals! (No offense to all the wonderful doctors I know.)  It’s just the way it is these days, everyone is a specialist in something.


“I specialize in wasting your time.”
“I specialize in wasting your money.”
"It's your lucky day, I specialize in both!"


I want to live in the days when I could haul all my kids and flea infested dog (future post) to the same doctor. 

The last instructions given were to take poop samples from her diaper and put them in 4 separate containers, which were provided. As a mom, poop is a common part of my day. I’ve gotten really good at changing a diaper quickly and wiping the butt of my Middle without really looking (both of these while holding my breath as to not enhance the joyous aromas). But scrapping diarrhea out of a diaper, with a Popsicle stick, into a tiny diameter container was a new joy to me.

So let’s get real, as a mom you’ll have to do some weird S, maybe drive all around northern Wi to figure out why your 1 year old screams when she poops, and is she really allergic to gluten, because living the G free life wasn’t in my plan! But they’re worth it, all the smells, miles and crap :)

My follow up was at clinic 30 miles away where they took her blood and then fronwed as they told me

"Oh this poop sample is too old, it needs to be

less than 24 hours for us to use" 

So back to the Popsicle stick...A couple weeks later results were in (drum roll please)...........

She has an allergy to chicken! Chicken? How is that possible. I've had people ask me, "Does that mean eggs too?" and although they turn into a chicken I think an egg is different than a piece of chicken. Chicken free is easier than G-Free! I'll take it 

~Emily <><


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